I'm curious, how long after a woman gives birth can she claim it's still the baby weight she has to lose? Is it within the first six months, a year? How long will it take me to be honest with myself and admit that maybe the extra weight I'm carrying might no longer be baby weight, but weight from lack of exercise and unhealthy eating habits?
The Kardashian's recently came under scrutiny from an Instagram video where Kim is questioned by one of her sisters for looking so skinny and asked her if she was eating enough. Kim's response was to thank her and be flattered. We live in a world where women are judged on their looks. Where our 'number,' whether it be on the scale or pant size, is equated to beauty. We are all too familiar with the infamous Kate Moss quote, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels."
Honest mommas typically work 40-hour work weeks and spend the rest of the time allocating minutes between family and personal time. We know these celebrities have nannies, trainers, dietitians, surgeons, etc. and we know the common woman can't lose weight that fast. But the fact of the matter is it still influences us and we end up feeling bad about ourselves for not snapping back as fast.
Personally, I struggled with my weight and equated how attractive I was by how thin I was. Meaning that for the last year I found myself unattractive. I avoided the mirror and only wanted pictures taken of me from my shoulders up. I wore a size too big to hide my rolls. I knew it was an issue and something I needed to work on. It is something I am continuously working on and I have to keep reminding myself that I am more than what a scale says. I am not defined by the size of pants I wear.
But on the flip side, I needed to find a reason to lose weight for more than pure vanity. I wanted another reason. Was it so I felt more attractive? Did I want to be sexier for my husband? Did I want other women to look at me with envy? The answer was yes to all of them and that bothered me. I ended up breaking down crying one evening, opening up to my husband about it for the first time since our son was born. It was then that I realized I needed a healthier reason to motivate myself.
I recognized I want to be healthy and fit for my son. I want to be able to keep up with him as he grows and his energy increases. I don't want to sit on the sidelines and watch him play. I want to play with him.
Yes, I want to lose the extra 30 pounds I'm carrying. I've grasped that it won't just evaporate (no matter how much I wish it just would). It will take work. It will take me prioritizing my health and setting time aside to work out. I will have to cut down my portions (breastfeeding always leaves me famished after a feeding) because I don't believe in restricting myself of anything, it's all about moderation.
I won't lie, I want to be able to look in the mirror and not be disgusted by my body. I want to be able to wear whatever I want and do it with confidence. But finding the reason of motivation for being healthier for myself and my son not only made me feel better. It felt like the right reason to lose the weight.
I'm a twenty-something mama who honestly has no clue what I want to do in life at the moment. For the longest time that scared me but now I embracing it and documenting it here.